I planned on writing this blog last week. At that point it was going to be a simple “10 Ways I Self-Care” type blog, but then I woke up this morning needing a little extra care myself. I woke up this morning remembering a dream that seemed to package everything I’ve been focusing away from for a while now. It was a Hey-You-really-need-to-face-things type of dream. So, I woke up facing them and, well, I’m a little low. And that is okay. Because seeing that I don’t feel right is the very first step in self care.
So, what is self-care, anyway? It is remembering that you matter. It is allowing yourself to actually see you and know that you are the most important person on your to-do list. Because if you don’t feel okay, it is extremely difficult to help those around you feel good.
Self-care is allowing yourself to not only know when you don’t feel okay, but it is you allowing yourself to feel that way and then caring for yourself just as you would any other loved one. Allowing yourself time on the couch under a blanket. Taking a mental-health day. Eating that occasional bowl of ice cream.
Picture yourself the last time you lost a relationship or had a very nasty flu. You allowed yourself to self-care during that time. You allowed yourself to feel the feelings or feel the sickness…mainly because those two situations are too painful to fight off, so you just rolled with that punch until you could push yourself back to your daily routine.
That daily routine that you rushed back to is the main reason so many of us are lacking in the self-care area…lacking in the happiness area.
If we are not sobbing or sneezing, we are expected to be at work, clean the house, care for the kids, take care of other family members, make sure everyone around us, except us, is happy. We think we need an excuse to put ourselves first…and we are exhausted.
So how do we self care anyway? Based on this blog post so far, you may think I’m suggesting curling on the couch with a bowl of ice cream at every upset. While you’re catching on…that is not exactly what I mean, as that would not be good for us physically. We self-care according to what we need. So I want you to ask yourself the following questions each day…
First, ask yourself how you are feeling that day. And really listen to yourself. If something is bothering you, take a moment to reflect on why. If life is just too much in that moment, it’s okay to sit with that. It’s okay to feel whatever emotion you have. Hold space for yourself the same way you would for someone else. Process it. Once you process, or if you didn’t have anything to process and started the day good, ask yourself the next question…
What can I do for myself today, whether it be 10 minutes or longer (if time allows), that will bring a smile to my face. Or what can I do for myself that I feel I need. Honestly it is that simple. And to clarify, an ice cream on occasion can be perfect. Just remember that self-care is also caring for our bodies long term, so also try going for walks, drinking teas, sitting in nature, reading a book etc.
This is how that process looked for me today. Note, that I didn’t have to ask myself how I was feeling, because it was one of those days where clearly I knew I needed some extra care. Today is an admin day for me in my business. But because I woke up not feeling so good and having everything come at me last night, I did only what needed to be done. I then asked myself what I needed today. I started under a blanket with a cup of coffee.
As I drank the coffee, I allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel in order to process “life”. By the end of the coffee, I was very inspired to write this post for you. No pun intended, but that cup of coffee helped to refill my cup, and now here I am hopefully helping you to fill yours. Am I back up to my normal spirits at this moment? No. But I am higher than I was this morning. I am also confident that I will be better either today or in a few days, because I will continually ask myself what I need in each moment until I get there. And then I will continue doing small acts of self-care every day after, as I have been doing the past five or so years of being on my self-love journey.
Practice checking in with yourself and allowing yourself to care for you however you need. Remember that it is okay to take care of you first, it truly does help you care for others in a better and more present way.
I have a video linked below infused with Reiki. Use that 35-minute-distance session as some self-care time for you. It is intended to help balance out your emotions and help you to take more steps of self care going forward.
If you find yourself knowing you need to take steps, but not being motivated to do so, I have helped many people like you take those small steps forward into a new and beautiful life. You can schedule with me HERE to get your first step forward if you would like. All coaching is done virtually…so I’m local to you.
Best Vibes Always!